Growing up as a young hijab-wearing girl, lecturer Dr Murni Wan Mohd Nor did not have an easy childhood, as she experienced racial discrimination and hate speech both locally and abroad.
Whether studying at a public school in the US or a government school in Malaysia, Dr Murni was ridiculed, spat on, had her hijab pulled off and bullied for various reasons, such as her good command of English, her origins from an “uncivilised” country, her decision to wear a hijab and her American accent, among others.
Well into adulthood, Dr Murni continued to face racist comments and hate speech among the people she encountered through her work as a senior lecturer at Universiti Putra Malaysia’s faculty of human ecology and research associate at the Institute for Social Science (IPSAS), as well at her speaking engagements both locally and abroad.
“The reason why I have dedicated more than 10 years of my work to addressing hate speech is because I have been a victim of hate speech all my life, and I realised that it is a problem that is common in every society around the world. This makes me more resolved to be part of the solution – through educating my students, society and the children,” she said.
When Love Heals Hate
Instead of responding to racism in anger, hatred and fear, Dr Murni decided to channel her personal experiences and expertise as a hate speech expert into positive action – by writing her first children’s book titled ‘When Love Heals Hate’.
Written for children between the ages of five to 12 years old, “When Love Heals Hate” tackles the difficult topic of racism through the story of a girl named Afiya, who overcomes her initial fears of adapting in a new country and school, only to witness a friend being bullied for his religious beliefs. Gathering the courage to do what is right, Afiya and her friends stand up to the bully together to protect their schoolmate, recognising the importance of unity in diversity.
Featuring diverse Malaysian characters, the poetic narrative is brought to life with the beautiful hand-drawn illustrations of local illustrator Nadiah Almahdaly.
“I hope to inspire courage in people to stand up when we see others being a victim of hate speech and racism, through gentle words of persuasion and kind action, because I believe that ultimately, this is the best way to shift mindsets and most importantly, turn hearts against hatred,” she said.
Inspired by Dr Murni’s real-life events, the book’s main characters are modelled after her children, as well as her parents, who embodied love and wisdom when teaching her to respond to racial discrimination with empathy, kindness and courage.
“It was my parents’ love for me, and for everyone, that made me see there is a better, wiser, more impactful way to combat hatred. Besides saving me from the bitterness and resentment of being bullied as a child, their advice helped me to gain strength and be proud of my identity, despite the negativity. They always encouraged me to understand the possible reasons why some people become bullies, or why their judgment has become clouded with hatred – ignorance, their personal trauma or both. It made me empathetic towards them and more determined to be a positive force towards healing hate,” she said.
Following the launch of the book, Dr Murni hopes to write more children’s books that cover social justice topics, such as disabilities, autism, refugees and gender, as told from the perspective of the diverse characters in “When Love Heals Hate’.
“Usborne, for instance, has many good titles that talk about racism and highlight stories of people of colour, but these books are often expensive and reflect the Western point of view. We do not have that many books that directly highlight these issues from our local perspective, and if we do, they are not as easily available at major bookstores. This is what I hope to change,” she said, adding that she is currently working on making her book available at Kinokuniya Malaysia.
Dr Murni believes that the conversation on racism should not be reserved for public policymakers, media or academic researchers; more importantly, it begins with our children, particularly since children often learn racism from friends or their families.
“That is the reason I wrote this book. It is never too early to start teaching our children. I believe that all children have the ability to understand these things. We just need to actively, intentionally and consistently teach them with wisdom,” she said.
As a mother-of-three, Dr Murni intentionally makes her home a space that is conducive for teaching her older children, aged eight and 11, about kindness and respect for differences, as she believes children need to be taught to be kind, considerate and conscientious from a young age.
Besides purchasing toys and books by people of colour to expose her children to different perspectives from those reflected in the media or retail stores, Dr Murni and her husband discuss issues of racial discrimination with their children over the dinner table, adjusting the language to suit the children’s level of comprehension.
“Most importantly, we discuss ways to be kind to all people, especially the oppressed. Whether we like it or not, we live in a world where even children will face these issues at a young age. Rather than pretend such issues do not exist, we can teach them what to do if they are confronted with such situations. The emphasis is always on positive values such as kindness, compassion, understanding and tolerance. If we are successful in being examples of these values for our children, they will grow up to embody these values too,” she said.
Curbing hate speech and racism 101
Here are some things we can commit to, as a family:
1. Put yourself in others’ shoes. Be open to learning something new and listen to others’ perspective.
2. Be mindful of negative misconceptions in your words and actions. Take positive steps to do better.
3. Avoid using hurtful, abusive and demeaning words that attack others based on protected characteristics such as gender, ethnicity, race, religion, nationality.
4. Think before you speak. Before responding, exercise patience and ask ourselves:
- Is it responsible or necessary?
- Is it fair?
- Is it considerate or kind?
5. Learn how to disagree respectfully. This is what it means to be a mature democratic society.
“When Love Heals Hate” is currently available for purchase at RM25 from Dr Murni’s website and Nur Innai Bookshop at Plaza Damas in Sri Hartamas, Kuala Lumpur and for SGD12 at Wardah Books in Singapore.
By Kathleen Tan
A former journalist and radio producer, Kathleen Tan believes in the power of a well-told story to change the world. She currently freelances as a writer to satiate her penchant for writing, pay the bills, and spend time with her two young sons.
The post When Love Heals Hate: Fighting racial discrimination through children’s literature first appeared on Makchic.